Jam of the Week: "In a Big City" by Titus Andronicus

Sorry it's been a little slow in the past couple weeks. I just moved back to New York, after a year away, and things got a bit hectic.

I left New York for a lot of reasons, some practical and some emotional, and I regretted it nearly every day since. There's something about this city. Even when it feels awful and impossible and unfeeling, it still feels right to me. It's not for everyone, but this is where I feel right. The second I saw the skyline on my drive back up, I felt settled. Baltimore will always be home. New York is something else. It's more of a relationship I chose, a home I married into.

Things are still calming down from the move. I still have a lot of things to get in order and a lot of feelings to sort through, so things might continue to be slow for a little while longer, but I can at least scrape out time for a jam of the week.

This song was in heavy rotation for me around the time I started thinking about leaving New York. When I would listen to it, I inevitably felt like I could never leave, like everything that was wrong about being in New York was still right. The dissatisfaction and the disappointment and the fear, all of that is part of it. It's part of what I love so much, honestly. It's like the ache of a well-exercised muscle. I'm the kind of person who likes when things are a little bit hard, because that lets me know I'm working, moving, trying.

"In a Big City" by Titus Andronicus is about moving to New York. It's about making mistakes and owning them, about feeling directionless and wrong, about feeling independent and strong. It feels frank and triumphant. It feels like my first years in New York and I hope it feels like my next years in New York. I've been listening to it a lot as I re-settle, mentally and physically. It's the best way I can describe the feeling of this past week.

So, hopefully, we'll be back on track with more regular content in the next week or so. Also, now that Game of Thrones has wrapped up for the season, there's space for another weekly TV recap. If you have a show you'd like us to discuss on a weekly basis, let us know in the comments or by e-mail at thefilterfeed@gmail.com.