KING'S LANDING:
But let's ease into that big finale. We got a few scenes in King's Landing, all confined to Cersei's monochrome cell. She's refusing to confess to the crimes of which she has been accused. Her rap sheet includes: fornication, treason, incest, and regicide. Woof! If Cersei had any skills as a rapper whatsoever, she could get a pretty fire mixtape out of that list. Septa Ratched, despite Cersei's repeated threats, is coming in daily to demand a confession and tempt the erstwhile queen mother with water that, eventually, Cersei is forced to drink off the dusty prison floor. This is quite a comedown, especially for a real wine connoisseur like our girl Cersei. These scenes feel a little out of place in this episode, where almost every other scene felt like it had enormous, long-reaching consequences, but if this is really the end for Cersei, I appreciate every last second we get with her.
We do learn some things of note: there's been no word from Jaime yet, the trial is about to begin, and it sounds like Maester Qyburn's Frankenstein role-play with the Mountain might turn out to be Cersei's best chance of escape. We also learn that Uncle Kevan, undisputed last place in the Lannister name power rankings, is on his way back to take up position of Hand of the King. Given how their last meeting went, it seems unlikely he'll be very inclined to help Cersei, but it'll be interesting to see if he can do anything about Tommen, who has retreated into a full-on teenage funk, refusing to leave his room or eat. Sure, Joffrey was an irredeemable bully and a whiny sadist, but you can't say he didn't get stuff done.
BRAAVOS:
Over in Essos, Arya is exploring the fascinating world of raw bar espionage. Jaqen finally gives her a task more interesting than bodywork: she's trolling the docks, selling seafood and plotting assassinations. After she establishes her cover ("Lana" the oyster girl) and proves her skills of observation, Jaqen reveals her mission: learn the habits of The Thin Man, a gambler who steals from the families of dead sailors, and introduce him to the Many-Faced God. I'm still not loving this plot, which, now more than ever, feels irrelevant to the rest of the show, but at least things are happening, I guess.
MEEREEN:
Things in the pyramid are definitely picking up. Tyrion and Daenerys are feeling each other out, and it's such a joy to see Tyrion back in his element, slinging witticisms and sipping wine. It's been so long since we saw any of these characters in their element (except, arguably, Jon) that it's truly thrilling to see the wheels start turning in Tyrion's head. His gift is being the power behind the throne, yes, but also speaking truth to power. Even before he officially enters her service, he's full of pro-tips for Dany, the best of which is: maybe reconsider that Iron Throne. It doesn't seem likely that Daenerys will give up on her dreams of taking what she sees as her right and her home, but Tyrion's got a point here. Why bother? It seems like a terrible job and, as we learn in this episode, it's about to get a hell of a lot worse.
His first bit of advice, however, is for Daenerys to spare Jorah. Killing your most devoted subjects is not a good look, he points out, but neither is keeping them around when they've spied on you. Jorah is banished again, but he's got a solution. He returns to the man who bought him for the fighting pits and offers to fight. If he can't fight for Daenerys in the pyramid, he's going to do it in the pits. It's hard to fault him for this decision. Given his Grayscale diagnosis, we know he doesn't have long to live. Might as well spend his remaining days as close to his Khaleesi as he can get.
WINTERFELL:
Up at Winterfell, Roose and Ramsay are preparing for Stannis and his army. Roose is happy to wait it out, but Ramsay's on his "We the North" again. Everyone's least favorite bastard thinks Stannis and his Southern buddies don't stand a chance against the home team and he's eager to show the North that their new Wardens can throwdown just as well as any Stark. Roose isn't completely sold, but Ramsay says he only needs twenty men to take out Stannis. If ever there was a time for Melisandre to release a smoke assassin from her vag, this is it, because I need to see Ramsay get his comeuppance. My preference is still a swift and brutal ass-kicking from Brienne, but I'd settle for anything at this point, I just need that dude gone.
Meanwhile, in Sansa's hell-chamber, she confronts Theon about selling her out to Ramsay and what he's done to her family. Something seems to get through to him, because he talks about himself as Theon for the first time in a long time. "I deserve to be Reek," he says. He expresses guilt over betraying Robb, but, like Sansa, I don't give a fuck. However, he does let it slip that he wasn't able to kill Bran and Rickon and for once in the entire goddamn history of this show, something nice happens to Sansa: she finds out her brothers are alive. In back-to-back episodes, Sansa has been reminded that she still has family somewhere out there. With any luck, she'll have escaped this terrible fucking plot and be on her way to reuniting with them at the Wall by the time the season ends. No matter how many times this show upsets me, I will continue to hope for good things for Sansa Stark.
THE WALL AND BEYOND:
Farther North at the Wall, Sam and Gilly are playing doctor. Olly comes by to remind us that he's still feeling some kind of way about Jon's plan and he's not shy about letting anyone know it. I don't trust this kid. He's had a tough time, sure, but we know he's willing to kill and the focus on his fury over the plan is unsubtly ominous.
Beyond the Wall, Jon and Tormund's diplomatic mission takes them to Hardhome. The wildlings are snarky and distrustful and oddly obsessed with how pretty Jon is. Jon gives them his pitch, which is less inspiring the third or fourth time we're hearing it, but it wins over some of the Free Folk, including a truly delightful lady named Karsi. Every minute with her was a treasure and I would not be opposed to a spin-off prequel series. The giants and a few others are also on board, but there are still plenty of holdouts. Tormund promises that they'll come around when times get hard but, of course, those poor suckers don't even get a chance.
Jon and Tormund have barely started loading up the ships when we get launched into an incredible twenty minute action sequence that made The Walking Dead look like community theater. The stunt choreography and CGI that went into it are one thing, but it was also a wonderfully shot piece of action on a scale that no other show but Thrones could pull off. "Hardhome" immediately joins "Blackwater" and "The Watchers on the Wall" as a series classic. The battle itself is chaotic and horrifying. It's obvious from the start that nothing the wildlings or the Night's Watch can do will stop literal tidal waves of ice zombies. My whirlwind affair with Karsi is cut tragically short when she surrenders to the inevitable and lets herself get mobbed by a bunch of creepy bone children. It's a little hard to differentiate the various castes of this frozen skeleton crew, but the good news is they at least seem to have personalities: their ice world Darth Maul leader taunts Jon and Tony Starks it up with impunity.
Jon, despite losing all Sam's dragonglass and a few thousand wildlings, learns a very valuable lesson. The sword he was given by Jeor Momont, Longclaw, proves an effective weapon against the White Walkers. I think we can assume Valeryian steel is the magic ingredient here. It's something, but it's not much. We currently know of a handful of swords forged from Valeryian steel and that seems comically inadequate in the face of the White Walker army, even before it expanded its numbers by a few hundred dead wildlings.
Suddenly the Iron Throne seems as small as a highchair and the game of thrones has never seemed like more of a game. It's like playing shuffleboard on the Titanic. Even Stannis vs the Boltons basically seems petty in comparison, to say nothing of Arya vs Some Random Jerk. For as much as a frozen army of the undead raises the stakes in life-or-death terms, it also lowers them for everything else. It will be interesting to see how Benioff and Weiss keep the goings on in the South feeling urgent in the face of such an overwhelming threat.
No comments:
Post a Comment